Sunday, 26 March 2017

Flowers and family

Mothers' Day today and I got flowers. I felt really bad because my son had ordered them and the combination of a ring at the door, cardboard box delivery/ signature and then putting flowers in the vase was so reminiscent of the days before and around the funeral that I inevitably got the shakes, hammering heart, nausea and so on. I felt really frustrated and cross with myself for being such a wimp about what was after all a lovely present from my gorgeous sons. I  was heartened though during a conversation with a friend from the bereavement group this afternoon who told me she promptly burst into tears on receiving Mothers' Day flowers yesterday again because of the associations with her husband's funeral.It made me feel a bit more like I might just be quite normal and not some kind of freak,;thank goodness for the chance to talk to people who understand and have been through it.
The flowers are really very nice, and even nicer was a call from the youngest son and a chance to chat to him. He is going on holiday to Budapest and then Sweden tomorrow and rather sheepishly confessed that he had been so busy that he didn't order a card until quite late on- had it arrived? No, it hadn't but I am looking forward to it some time this week so told him not to worry.
My family has been fantastic over the last few months and weeks. The only difficulty I've had has been trying to persuade the youngest to take more money and the eldest that he doesn't need to give me more money!  am very lucky in that I get a small pension from Kev's work and this currently pays for the living expenses and accommodation for our youngest (Oxford is not cheap.) It is actually slightly less than we used to give him and so I always expected to have to top  it up by a couple of thousand but he won't take the money insisting he can get by! However, this week he texted me to ask if I could transfer a hundred pounds into his account just as a float for while he was on holiday. I transferred several hundred and got a text telling me it was too much and I would be getting some back. I think we might fight over this one! Kev and I always wanted him to have enough and, without being extravagant, to make sure he enjoyed his undergraduate days. My eldest son is just the same, he is working part time  on the minimum wage and for the last few years has given us money towards his food and keep. He now wants to increase this and is learning to drive in order to give him the chance to look further afield for  a full time job.
I do feel really proud of the way they have both rallied round and at just how grown up and supportive they have been. You'd kind of expect this is how family should be, unfortunately I know quite a few people, mainly in the bereavement group, who have had conflict and difficulties instead of support. Maybe we got something right in the way we brought them up or maybe they are just naturally lovely people. I might be biased, but I think so anyway.

1 comment:

  1. Your boys sound lovely Sue. They are a credit to you and Kevin.
    Enjoy your beautiful flowers as a sign of all the things you did right.