Friday, 28 June 2013

Looking forward to the weekend!

One of my roles at work is to forge links with the  local businesses which employ many of our students. It was for this reason that I found myself heading out to a Business and Industry exhibition this afternoon in order to "network" and gain an insight into the wider community. It was wet, grim weather and it wasn't much fun lugging table and banners and promotional materials into the draughty warehouse in which this auspicious event was held.

After setting up and consuming flapjack/ coffee which was provided, I started to chat to the other exhibitors. There were all sorts of companies there, office furniture, alarm systems, a stall promoting a local animal charity - but the guy next to me was running a company which...well...largely dealt with the mess after dead bodies are taken away from crime or accident scenes. There were some posters and promotional literature which detailed the fact that this company would deal with various bodily fluids, it listed blood, vomit, faeces, amniotic fluid (OK, shall I stop there?) and explained the problems of not getting in  a professional to deal such "bio-hazards" ( I was easily convinced!)

Moreover, the guy on the stall (... and, yes, I now know that I shouldn't have asked...) was  loquacious  on the subject of the macabre and talked with enthusiasm about  some unpleasant details of his job which I didn't really want to hear. "I bet you don't talk about this sort of thing in college, do you?",  he enquired. For a fleeting moment I was tempted  to tell him that our conversation had brought to mind Webster-

"Thou art a box of worm seed, at best but a salvatory 
Of green mummy. What's this flesh? A little cruded milk
Fantastical puff paste. Our bodies are weaker than those
Paper prison boys use to keep flies in; more contemptible 
Since ours is to preserve earthworms. Didst thou ever see
A lark in a cage? Such is the  soul in the body."

I also felt a bit like I was a character in a David Lodge or Tom Sharpe novel- you couldn't make it up! I briefly returned to work to drop off table cloths and brochures and bumped into a colleague who asked me  had it been very dull  and was I looking forward to the weekend?
Answer: "mmmm, mixed" and "YES, definitely!"


  1. I'll spare you my funeral stories - but did you see the expose of a leading funeral directors a few months ago? I could have added a few tales to that! You really don't want to spend 30 minutes in a hearse with a coffin that hasn't been properly sealed.....

    Enjoy your dinner!

    Iffy Vicar

  2. Yikes! I've a fairly strong stomach but this guy's enthusiasm made me slightly queasy...