Monday, 3 June 2013

Doctor Whoess?

I was deeply shocked today to hear rumours that the next Doctor might be a doctoress. I hope that readers will join with me in strongly opposing this complete redefinition and consider the dangers and unforeseen consequences which this tampering may bring. For a start a female doctor goes against all our established understanding of time travelling itself. A dashing, deep voiced male is the right and proper figure to be striding across the centuries, not some girl batting her silly curled eyelashes. This ridiculous pandering to contemporary ideas will not do; how is some female going to have enough natural authority to command the respect of previous generations or to quell alien races. I think she'll be too busy putting on her make up!

Readers can all observe the clip below in which  the doctor regenerates properly into a man. He does have a  moment when he thinks he might be a girl and his distress should be enough to demonstrate that Doctors, just like the rest of us, are happier when they don't face any nasty surprises which go against the natural order. I sincerely hope that, should the unthinkable ever happen, there will be proper provision for those of us who know that the Doctor can only ever be a man. By proper provision, I mean a completely separate programme on another station so our world can stay unchanged.

In any case, you can't change the rules of regeneration. Tradition and experience tells us that the Doctor always comes back male. We'll completely open the floodgates once the Doctor's  meat and two veg morph into lady bits and there will be no going back and no knowing where we are. And if the Doctor can become a girl, what's to stop him regenerating into two Doctors, or three, or four? We could have poly-Doctorism on our hands before we know it. Just imagine the confusion and the potential for disaster.

 We rely on the Doctor! He has saved the world in the past. Don't let them do this! It could be the end of life and the universe as we know it...



7 comments:

  1. ROFL! Brilliant, Sue. Should be required reading for all General Synod members. :-)

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    1. Let's hope something sensible happens over the women bishops legislation in July!

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  2. The true Gospel is now delivered to you from the wilderness Rev 12:6 as a witness Matt 24:14.
    Our heavenly Father will NOT put any child of his into a hell fire no matter what their sins. Sin doesn't scare God! He created it Isa 45:7 to teach us all the knowledge of good and evil Gen 3:22 for our eternal placement in his coming kingdom. Throwing a child of his into a hell fire has never entered the heart or mind of God to ever do such a thing Jer7:31, Jer 19:5. Anyone preaching a hell fire to God's children is deceived. The whole world has been believing in a god of hate murder and revenge (The devil Rev 12:9). The true word of God John 1:1 is now delivered Rev 12:5 here http://thegoodtale.wordpress.com/

    God chose a woman Rev 12 to be the prophet like unto Moses and Elijah Matt 17:3, Acts 3:21-23, Luke 1:17. Those professing themselves to be Christians would be wise to hear all Acts 3:23 BEFORE making any judgment. The proof of what I tell you is in the hearing.

    Prove ALL things 1 Thes 5:21. Satan has deceived the whole world Rev 12:9 until now.

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  3. Sue, this is absolutely brilliant and hilariously funny! B & I have been howling as we've read bits out to each other. Well done, you've pointed out the ridiculous nature of the gay marriage nay-sayers in such an easy to understand way.
    Mel Hazlehurst

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    1. I am glad you liked it! I tried to satirise the stance on both women bishops and gay marriage.

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  4. Great stuff. Oddly enough I have no problems with gay marriage or women bishops but I am a reactionary conservative when it comes to 'Who - when we have Mr Marple we can have another female Who.(Joanna Lumley has played the Timelord on Rednose day & on audio Arabella Weir has had go as well.) I'll be taking my anorak back off now.

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