Wednesday, 25 April 2012

Breaking news!

The blogosphere should soon be alive with the latest news that Archdruid Rowan Williams is to be transported to the Colonies for crimes against Anglicanism. The list of crimes the Archbishop is accused of include:
Having a beard
Being a woolly liberal
Failing his Anglican Covenant exam
Being a bit of a burka
Being an Archdruid (called Eileen)
Being an intellectual
Allowing himself to be abducted by aliens
Giving a speech called "The Body's Grace" and not "They're going to hell!"


  1. Also allowing his eyebrows to be a distration from his preaching (from my wife, Mel!)

  2. I enjoyed this - although the first link led to a post that is very clever but left me with a bit of nasty taste in the mouth - but that's partly how satire works I suppose.

  3. This would be very funny if it wasn't all true! There are people who think all of those things and more!

  4. I think the satire in the first piece is directed not against Rowan Williams but against his detractors. Yes, there are people who think all of these things and more!

  5. Are there enough tealights for the whole Anglican Communion? on Archdruid for Archbishop says liberal, neo-pagan blogger!
    Erika Baker

  6. Odd - the other day, a friend and I met up and had catch-up over a pizza and a bottle of wine; as I left him at the gates of Lambeth Palace (where he was staying the night) - I mentioned to my friend (who was on both Cary's and William's personal staff) that I was surprised Rowan had stayed on as long as he has, considering the flack he has endured. My friend said: 'Rowan doesn't see things like that, he saw his appointment as a vocation and tried his best to fulfil it - that is all he could do at the end of the day...'

    And that is all his successor can do - tho' I suspect part of his vocation will be the slicing up of the Anglican Communion into little separate universes of malice. Tho' once liberals have no conservatives to battle with and conservatives are left with just their own as company, then the wars really will begin. The conservative/liberal struggle is just a distraction to the real problems within each faction. The liberals are so woolly and loosely knitted together that they will soon fray into an incoherent mess of ritualists in love with frills, fumes and frocks - a fine mass will be performed to almost empty houses. Those liberals with a social conscience will continue to align themselves with whatever social movement gives them a semblance of relevance – often lobbying the government to do what the Gospels says Christians should be doing themselves... They will plod on, looking for an identity in bit parts and cameos, like an aged actor whose great days are over, but who knows nostalgia will always give him a place in the hearts of a public who are often surprised to find out he’s alive, when they were convinced he was dead!

    As for the conservatives... There was an interesting comment made a few months ago on Revd Richardson’s blog ‘[Evangelicals] are, truly, split into tiny pieces. There was a time, when, every few years, we could all bury our differences and unite behind Billy Graham. Not anymore...’ (see: I think this is a fascinating comment and one that has an underlying truth, that many Evangelicals now united, when it comes to discussing matters of queerdom, will be at each other’s throats if this matter was resolved. Evangelical Christianity is an intensely personal and individualistic faith (hence its dominance in Capitalist social systems) and this means there are as many versions of ‘Evangelical Christianity’ as there are Evangelicals. Some with Calvinistic leanings, others polluted by Charismatic heresies, others wanting to get their bony hands on the reins of political power and others wanting to quash the Enlightenment and all it stands for; and there are others who want women back in traditional roles, idolising a past that never existed.

    Our present broad church will divide – but will these new, divided shards of Anglicanism be able to remain whole; or will they too shatter under the strains of internal division or collapse, lacking the strength and numbers to maintain themselves? Will fracture give way to fracture until the Rock of Faith is a fine sand of little congregations and ill-tempered fraternities? Each having more in common with its neighbour than difference – but difference will be the idol each worships – forgetting God and the Gospel’s call.


  7. Some interesting observations. I think we will have to wait and see if the church fractures or not. I am not really optimistic. Wish I was.

  8. Whose church is it anyway?

    Is Christ the founder of the church still in the equation? The gates of hell shall not prevail against the church - biblical. The true church will stand and the rest scatter.

    Being optimistic!

  9. Interesting observations, especially from a presbyterian whose church has a different Moderator each year.