Anglican Mainstream the Archbishop of Canterbury/ Lambeth Palace are concerned about the possibility that it is "morally problematic" that Kate Middleton - wait for it - may wear a white dress when she is not a virgin...(gasp)
Although Anglican Mainstream seem to have taken this story seriously, I think they have fallen for a spoof? (Please tell me I am right, or I might have to leave the Church after all!)
According to the article, which is supposedly by the Independent, but also carries the legend "the talbot Church" (slight hint there as the talbot is a mythical hunting dog), Rowan Williams has suggested that Kate might opt for something slightly less whiter than white , peach perhaps, or something with a hint of colour, but definitely off- white, just to show that - you know- he's had her- and so now she is a bit defiled, not as clean and pure as she used to be, a bit shop soiled.
Can you imagine how offensive such a dictate would be on a personal level (come back Pete Broadbent, all is forgiven...) And after all, surely Kate and Will would tell the ABC to shove his off white dress - well - you get the picture?
I was rather entertained though at the thought of an official Church of England policy of no non virgins allowed to marry in white! Perhaps vicars should be obliged to carry out tests to ensure the bride is virgo intactica and then dispense advice on the bridal couture accordingly?
How could Anglican Mainstream think this story was likely to be true, and when will they realise and take it down? I know they lack a sense of humour, and irony isn't exactly their strong suit - but you'd almost think they believe the Church of England is deeply misogynistic, uncharitable, narrow, joyless, out of touch, oh so stupidly obsessed with all the wrong things? (Hang on...I'm starting to think it might just be true now...)
Our man to trust is telling us spoof, not truth - otherwise not only is it a nice day for a White Wedding - it's also a nice day to start again!
(AM has now taken the piece down! Here is the link to the parody that they fell for - pretty much because it is in line with their attitudes! As I've said in the comments, this shows that much of the subtext underlying the "moral standards" of conservative Christians is that women need to be kept in line and shamed and punished when they transgress. This is not what Jesus taught - perhaps Anglican Mainstream should ask whether it is a nice day to start again?)