Monday, 24 May 2010

Giving away

Anyone wanting a bit of light relief from the conflicts within the Church of England may be interested to read this article about the dispute over misogyny is the Church of Sweden. The Crown Princess Victoria wants her father to give her away, but the Church of Sweden is uncomfortable with this as it seems to them against the principles of equality and, to be fair, it is not part of Swedish tradition.
Now, as you know, this blog eschews misogyny in any way, shape or form, and, yes, of course the concept of a father "giving away" his daughter is potentially offensive and rooted in a cultural mindset that saw women as possessions , but is this really such a threat to equality?

And what about the traditions we have in Britain, should women be discouraged from being given away? Should women have the right to promise to "obey" their husbands? What about the tradition of a bride wearing white to symbolise virginity, or wearing a veil ( same kind of idea.) Couldn't we argue that marriage in itself is a patriarchal construct - maybe some readers think it is and should be banned?
Now, I'm starting to sound a bit too much like the Daily Mail ( ...Liberal Lefties ban marriage...) so I'll stop now, but you might like to complete the poll below or comment if your option isn't included ! ( I really just wanted to post a poll...)
Do you consider any of the following to be offensive?
Father giving bride away
White wedding dress
The woman promising to obey
All of them
None of them
Maybe - but it is a matter of personal choice free polls


  1. The church of England is already there. The "standard" service does not include the giving away, instead there is an additional rubric:
    "This traditional ceremony is optional. Immediately before the couple exchange vows the minister may ask:

    Who brings this woman to be married to this man?

    The bride's father (or mother, or another member of her family or a friend representing the family) gives the bride's right hand to the minister who puts it in the bridegroom's right hand. Alternatively, after the bride and bridegroom have made their Declarations, the minister may ask the parents of bride and bridegroom in these or similar words:

    N and N have declared their intention towards each other.
    As their parents,
    will you now entrust your son and daughter to one another
    as they come to be married?

    Both sets of parents respond:

    We will."

  2. That's nice, I didn't know that.[ I can't get anything wrong 'cos so many vicars read this blog :)]

    Do you get many brides who choose to "obey"? Is the man allowed to choose to obey?