This is the time to reveal that my sense of humour is not sophisticated...( or had you already noticed?)
I called the Swine Flu hotline – all I got was crackling
I heard that the first symptom is that you come out in rashers.
Another is that you get the trotts.
I woke up with pig tails this morning … Should I be worried?
The doctor asked me how long I’d had the symptoms of Swine Flu. I said it must have been about a Weeeeeeeeeeeeeek!
Apparently my mate’s got Swine Flu but I think he’s just telling porkies!
The only known cure for Swine Flu in humans has been found to be theliberal application of oinkment.
IF YOU GET AN EMAIL ABOUT SWINE FLU DELETE IT AS ITS ONLY SPAM.
Swine flu however, is not a problem for the pigs because they’re all going to be cured anyway!
News Flash …. This just in. The world’s religious leaders have issued a joint declaration that the Swine Flu pandemic is the start of the aporkalypse.
Swine flu has now mixed with bird flu. Scientists say they will find a cure when pigs fly.
This is not a time for panic. It is no pig deal. It is a mild hamdemic, don’t believe the spam you’re getting.
No, I didn't write them myself. Do you think I've got nothing better to do?